If some of you have received traffic citations recently, I wouldn’t be too surprised. I’ve seen more traffic enforcement in the past 2 weeks than I’ve seen the entire summer. I’ve even seen the incredible rarity (and stupidity) of the South Miami Police force motorcycle cops out patrolling US-1 at one or two in the morning for speeders. I say stupid because when was the last time you saw a motorcycle cop out past sunset to begin with, but, this one was sitting in the turn lane facing southbound with all of his lights off (Headlight too! I thought that was against the law), radaring passing Northbound cars? Not your typical sight. I guess our local law enforcement officers have finally decided to crack down on Miami drivers by nit-picking the little things (like rolling stops in Coral Gables, or cruising above the speed limit in the wee hours of the morning in an area that knowingly reduced the speed of US-1 to 40 mph rather than the typical 45 mph to make those tickets sting a little more than usual) rather than cracking down on some of the more crucial traffic issues (the people who drive in exit lanes on the 836 knowing full well they have no intention of exiting, the hapless gridlock professionals on US-1, the red-light runners, or the speed daemons on the palmetto and I-95 at any hour where it is actually possible.) It makes me wonder if our police force is actually trying to resolve some of our traffic issues or add to them.
Some of you may remember that I was recently the lucky recipient of one of these golden tickets. I was going 47 mph in a 45 mph zone which temporarily became a 35 mph zone for some construction that was going on about a mile before I got stopped. Wonderful. In any case, my terrible experience let me realize a few crucial things:
1. Being polite and courteous to a motorcycle cop will never get you out of the citation, but, can get you a price break if you pull over promptly and show utmost respect.
2. The “Driving-Improvement” courses we are all required to take, don’t improve diddly squat and are likely the cause of so many careless drivers to begin with.
I enlisted in one of the on-line courses to avoid getting points on my license (Oh, yeah and to avoid further financial ravaging by Geico.) I thought the four hours was bad enough; the sheer stupidity of the whole course was worse than a kick to the groin. I survived the course by watching the timer on the webpage unremittingly tick away four wasted hours of my life. Then came the “final exam” which boasted some fantastic questions which I guarantee will make most of us better drivers. Here are the highlights:
How many licensed drivers are there in Florida? (I fail to see how this will make anyone a better driver.)
Until what age should a child use in a car seat? (The options for the answers to this one were: 3 years, 5 years, 60 lbs)
How many points can you receive in a 12 month period before your license is suspended? (Um, if you are worried about the maximum number of points, I don’t think you should be driving in the first place.)
What sign is shaped like an octagon? (A Stoptional! Or a S.T.O.P. sign – Slow To Observe Police…Duh!)
The obvious challenge continued throughout the rest of the 40 questions. Needless to say, I passed. Printing out my certificate of completion made me think about how backwards the licensing and driving education requirements really are. I will no longer wonder why area drivers stink- the rules to become licensed are terrible…
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